Ego, Showing Up, and the Stories We Tell Ourselves

Peace, family! I can honestly say that 2017 was the best year of my life thus far. I met new people, traveled to and explored new cities, networked like crazy, was promoted within my organization, and opened my mind to tons of new ideas (many of which will be shared with you very soon). Over the course of the entire year I spent maybe three weekends at home, which is nuts. Even with all of the happiness and adventure that 2017 brought me, I still felt myself coming to a crash toward the end of the year. I began to feel closed off and unable to connect with others, even people who I have known and been close with for years. I stopped being present and grounded and started to become susceptible to the stories in my head.

So, now you’re like - Adri, what are you talking about?  We all have stories that we tell ourselves, although we may call them by different names. I call them stories; you may call it doubt, anxiety, triggers, panic, insecurity, distrustfulness, skepticism, etc. Whatever we call it, when it creeps in we’ll often began to lose touch with what is actually happening in front of us and project these feelings onto the world, causing it to skew our version of reality. This will not look or manifest the same way for everyone. For me, it caused thoughts like “nobody cares,” “I do so much for people, but what do they do for me?” “I give too much of myself, and get little in return,” “from now on, I’m only looking out for myself,” and so on. I even went as far as to declare that in 2018 I was closing myself off to everyone, with the exclusion of my very immediate family, of course.

“Ego, ego, ego!” I literally woke up one morning with this word ringing over and over in my mind, and just like that the solution appeared before me. If you’re not familiar with the word “ego” in the psychological sense, I strongly encourage you to research the term, and how it controls our interactions with ourselves and others. Ego governs how we perceive ourselves, our relationships, and the world. Suppressing my ego is a behavior that I’ve been putting in serious work on practicing for many years. It ain’t easy, and sometimes I still slip up. I was operating from a place of egocentricism. I was blindly focused on “I, Me” and lost sight of the interconnectedness of humankind. We do not exist independently. Remembering this caused me to radically shift my focus. If I need support and affirmation, then so do you. If I sometimes feel lost and isolated, then so do you. If at some point I have lost my way, then so have you. I literally mean you, the person reading this, and also your spouse, your neighbor, your coworker, your friend, the person next to you on the train. Whatever battle one of us is fighting, we are all fighting. So, although I do not make New Year’s resolutions, this did lead me to an ultimate decision:

2018 will be the year that I show up for others. I don’t mean showing up in a physical sense, although this is a part of it. If you’re at home sulking over the love that (you think) you haven’t received, you’re not allowing yourself to go out into the world and give that same thing to others. Imagine what would happen if we all simultaneously operated from that same headspace. We would all be waiting for love and no one would be actively giving it.

What I do mean is:

I will allow myself to experience life as it is happening

I will extend genuine kindness to myself and to others

I will listen intently and receive what is being shared with me

I will give others my full attention (as needed) with minimal distraction

I will rededicate myself creating content for my site and interacting with those who support me

I will be consciously aware of my words and actions towards others

I will be my authentic self

I will give maximum effort in my work and home life

I will support and uplift the community in which I live (support local, shop small)

I will not allow communications (calls, texts, emails) from loved ones to go unanswered

I will give the love that I need to receive

I will give the love that I need to receive

I will give the love that I need to receive


I’m more than confident that the universe will listen and respond.